Tag Archives: sucks

Why oh why do I use computers?

Much is made of how computers save our lives and make them better. Efficiency, Apple Macintosh, a hyper-linked world. Yeah, that’s all good when said and done. Except for one thing.

The Save button. Or function. Whatever you like to call it.

Yesterday I was editing a (dull) short film for use as a bit of corporate functionality. Hacking away at the sound. Save. Nothing. Absolutely. A whole afternoon wasted.

You know, I could have played Kirby or something and my life would have been just as productive.

To face the same piece of editing today is heartbreaking. I just, do not want to do it again.

Life…sucks…

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The Motorcycle Diaries – Waltham Abbey

This should have been a relatively pleasant post about me wandering to a suburb of London to take in some of the local air and to treat myself to a bit of history. Instead this was a drama that nearly turned into a crisis. But before I get into a rant, here is my one photo of this corner of Essex that lies within spitting distance of the Capital:

Yes, Waltham Abbey is pretty historical. If you are into Medieval British history and live in London, this is one great place to come. The Abbey, the last one to survive the reformation, lies on the Greenwich Meridian and (if you believe in legends) Waltham Abbey is the resting place of King Harold (of Hastings Battle fame).

But did I get to experience any of this history? No. Of course not! This is me! And while I have never been truly been through the awful shits, I do have the luck of Charlie Brown. So, instead of experiencing some culture, the rear wheel of my bike punctured. So instead of enjoying this joyous part of London, I spent the day panicking before eventually finding a bike shop (thank you to the locals who helped me on the way). Now that did mean riding on the flat until it became too flat before then wheeling it to the bike shop for half a mile. And the tyre cost me £80 to replace. Now, I was going to replace my rear tyre in September, to be ready for the winter, so it was not a complete waste of time, but still, £80 when I did not budget for it!

As I renewed my motorbike insurance this weekend, I made sure to get breakdown cover as well…

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Easter TV

I do look forward to the whole Easter weekend when it comes to television. In between shifts, it is nice to sit down and watch one of those Ancient Bible Stories. You know, I want to see Charlton Heston riding a chariot or holding the Ten Commandments above his head. Hell, I want to see it all. The toppling of the Philistine’s temple, a heroic revolt . Hey, I will even take the non-Christian tales.

But where are those films? Those legendary bladder busters, relieved by the handy nearness of my own toilet. Nowhere! Check the TV schedules (do we still have them in this digitised/multichannel world), and it is filled with lousy programmes about someone’s upcoming wedding. Ugh…just leave them alone!

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Filed under easter, film, humor, life, television

10

Well, a few numbers, strung in a row, makes this improbable date very funky to see.

Of course, being a Sunday, who would actually be up at 10:10, on the 10/10/10?

Couldn’t the calender be more malleable and decide on a time and date which was more convenient for the general population to witness?

Say, 20:20 on the 20/20/20?

Oh, sorry, the 20th month does not exist…

So, before this all goes, you have two more years to enjoy these calenderic diversions. after December 2012, that is it, the numbers become boring again…

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Patterns in the Sand (1) – Advertising

It is always the same. Come New Year’s we have the Post-Xmas guilt trips about dieting and giving up cigarettes kicks in while the government sponsors courses on ‘drink awareness’.

Next is Valentine’s day. Spend like crazy, or your loved one will hate you. Fact. There will be a romantic movie in the cinema which you are obliged to see even though it is filled with vomit.

Of course Easter follows. Ah yes, book your holiday in the sunshine. That most important event of the year. Two weeks where you can booze like crazy while you lock up the kids in a play pen for the day. The joys of family life!

Oh, but now summer is here. Time for you to look in shape. That means eat breakfast cereal!

Then in six weeks time comes the Christmas period! Oh yes, a quarter of a year devoted to the most ‘wonderful time’ of the year. We do it for the kids, is the normal excuse, but really we do it for the credit card companies.

And come January, we need to lose a bit of weight from the Christmas period…

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Bloody Halloween!

(This is one of the few times that I will blow my top on this blog)

Someone is making a killing here. Whether it is pumpkin conglomerates in Illinois or plastic toy factories in Southern China, the emergence of Halloween as a reason to spend your hard earned cash on a completely baseless festival is worrying. Just like Mother’s/Father’s day or Valentine’s, an obscure European festival has been hijacked turned into something far more than it should have been.

Shops are filled with gaudy toys (real tatty crap) and other trinkets, little kids knock on your door demanding cash (work you feral buggers) and nigger kids decide to throw eggs at anything they can (I hope you starve one day).

Halloween is s**t! Really, I have never seen something so trite, even worse than these other ‘holidays’ which at least has the veneer of love (expressed in by an overpriced rose or a lousy card). Halloween has no positive attributes whatsoever. From the amount of food that is thrown out (how many of those pumpkins were used to actually make food rather than grotty masks) to the sheer tenacity of raising a generation of children who think it is perfectly normal to knock on doors and beg for money (work-shy little b******s).

The whole ‘event’ is a pile of crap that is the final p**s take in the FTSE100’s quest for my hard earned money. I do not want to spend my free time having to chase away someone else’s children off my property, nor do I want to have to clean up the filth left by those egg throwing hooligans. I certainly do not need to buy, every year fake devil’s tridents or awful witch’s hats. And I like to eat my eggs, cooked and on a plate. I do not like seeing foxes roam around the city at 3am licking yolk off the pavements.

Halloween actually has a fascinating history that has been completely lost in the flood of cash registers. It exists as there is a need for companies around the UK to pick up the nation’s spending. Unlike other countries there is no Thanksgiving (N. America), Diwali (India and surrounding area) or Mid-Autumn Festival (most of East Asia). After summer, there is a lull in what we as a nation spend, as people try to save up for Christmas and are really trying to get over the annihilation that the summer holiday has done to most family’s wallets. Especially as there are no public holidays between the end of summer and the Xmas period, there is a need for companies to keep making money. Hence Halloween, the most trumped up holiday since Valentine Day’s cheap attempt to kick start consumer spending after the Christmas binge.

The whole thing makes me sick. Now pass me the hollowed out pumpkin mask, I need a place to puke up…

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