Tag Archives: for

A busy month – you bet!


I do believe this has been the longest gap between blog posts since…forever, or something like that. I have seen a lot since then in the news. An American Yawn, a Chinese Yawn, Qatada and something in the Middle East.

Oh, and yes, I was in Poland for half that time with a lot of filming. In the can as they speak. Lots to edit, rewrite and pray for before heading off to the next bit next year.

And I did take a little saunter through Poland too. After all, it was a ‘working holiday’.

But enough of that, I think it is time to actually write a blog insead of talk about not writing one. Let me flex those fingers…


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Filed under life, tomfoolery

The Blog of El Director – Terms and Conditions:

Please read the terms of conditions of this blog, as set out below, before proceeding to consume this great piece of information and wisdom from El Director:

1. You agree that by reading this blog, that this is all due to the original thought of Charles Michel Duke aka El Director who shall be forthwith referred to within these terms as The Kinky One.

2. By continuing to read this blog you agree to supply The Kinky One with a towel on demand. No matter where you live in this world, universe or dimension, you, the reader, will be required to produce (in person) a perfectly creased towel to The Kinky One should he so choose to demand of you, the reader, a towel.

3. According to the Laws of Physics, on reading this blog, you must hum the theme tune to Caution Wet Paint. Click here to find out more about Caution Wet Paint and to discover the theme tune behind the Paint*.

4. Not humming along the theme tune of Caution Wet Paint will result in the termination of your brain. You have been warned.

5. On reading this blog, you must learn how to cook Plov. It is of no concern to The Kinky One whether you are a vegetarian or not, you must cook Plov. Here is a recipe for Plov as revealed by The Kinky One. Now go and cook. Especially the vegetarians…

6. You are required, on reading this blog, to look up at the sky occasionally. Just do it!

7. I love you and love me, but let us keep this love strictly platonic. Stalkers and stalkies are very welcome, but should you choose to stalk me, then keep in mind that you should at least tell me that you are stalking me using the comment box below. Otherwise, you do not even reach the level of stalking, merely that of a Peeping Tom**.

8. Should you so wish to terminate your readership of this blog, be aware that I will spank you. Repeatedly. As I enjoy a good spanking, you can also spank me should you choose to continue reading this blog***.

9. This blog is bound the laws of all sane nations around the world. As a result you may not use this blog to create or distribute the following:
Nuclear, Biological or Chemical Weapons, Bad Haircuts or Pie unless the pie is to be consumed by The Kinky One.

10. Enjoy your blogging experience courtesy of The Kinky One. Under pain of the evil eye

* – The musician formerly known as Lars Grooven is exempt from humming anything as he is a chilli fanatic and is now pickled.

** – Actualy I like stalkers, except the ones that want to kill me. Comment is free, use the box provided…

*** – I also have a foot fetish. There, I have admitted all my dirty secrets to this world.


Filed under tomfoolery

Cash for YOUR Chav Gold!

Pawn shops are nothing new. As old as humanity itself, there has always been a need to trade personal valuables for short/long term cash. What is new in the UK is the rise in ‘Cash for Gold’ merchants. These businesses advertise on satellite TV during daytime soap operas claiming to solve all your money worries (what’s new?) by giving you cash for your gold.

Of course with gold at an all time high, we at Caution Wet Paint are proud to announce our newest partner! If you have tatty gold lying about in your home, then send it to cash_for_your_gold.co.uk and they will give you money! Yey!

Cash for YOUR Chav Gold!

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Filed under caution wet paint, tomfoolery



Not worth bothering about.

I like the lack of controversy on this blog.

Hence I use my real identity.

Some bloggers do not reveal themselves.

Others have been exposed against their will.

Some have revealed themselves and lost their jobs.

Blogging should not be a crime against humanity.

It’s a bloody blog.

Words on the net.

Read by a few.

Occasionally picked up by the mainstream on a quiet day.

But otherwise an extension of what people are thinking or what they are interested in.

I would not be so grand as to say ‘an extension of humanity’, but they are an extension of that person.

Anyway, blogs are simple things really.

Just like the people who write them.

Just like you and me.

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Filed under internet

Tuesday was too busy, I’m taking today off!

Today has been a night off work. Not that this has really meant much. Spent the morning washing out the wheelie bins. It’s summer, the stuf stinks and I do not want an infestation of maggots. Other handy bits of housework included repairing that tear in the shed roof (hopefully should last this winter) as well as securing the pipe that feeds gas to our fireplace against the wall.

But it was very much a CWP day too! Oh yes, this was multitasking at its best. Re-did the subtitles to Jay and Kay Save the World but also got lost in translation and produced a version with French subtitles. Oui, the whole point is to expand ‘l’horizons’ and venture into new film festival territory. Like all things involving computers, this went as smoothly as a residential road in South London. Littered with pot holes and glass. Rendering, re-rendering, finding out I had a spelling mistake in the ENGLISH SUBTITLES!!! Man, I am fed up of this computer. But finally, I managed to burn a decent copy of the DVD, with a nice little menu option (slight improvement on the original) as well as aligning my subtitles nicely so that even on a small TV set, they won’t get chopped off.

But, I am very much switching off this computer tomorrow. After all, I need to get my hands on a saw…

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Filed under film, Goals, internet

Wired for Style?! Moi?


A big thank you to Olivia for organising this and to Ella who took the time out for us at CWP!

El Director is Interviewed by ‘Wired for Style’, click here to read!

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Filed under Uncategorized