Category Archives: humor

Are you searching for a Husband? Talk to us.

The Irish – you got to love them! They know good quality. And they want to get lucky with the local women.

Irish Men are in Love with the Polish

Now why didn’t the Russians learn this lesson? Nor the English on their Krakow Stag-do’s?

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Filed under humor, Sports

The April Fools this year?

Every year, as tradition goes, the British newspapers love to fool the general public into thinking that something completely serious is actually a joke. Because, of course, it is April Fools, and the British like to believe that we have a sense of humour.

Anyway, here are my guesses.

The Guardian’s one is pretty good, although very obvious. A nice dig at the ruling classe and our Prime Minister’s posh background.

The Independent has a very good one. It almost had me fooled, that is how pedantic we as a nation have become.

The Telegraph has been tricky. I am not too sure, but I am going to plump for the Vodka swilling Queen Mother.

The Mirror’s one is obviously funny. I like it, thick with humour.

The Daily Mail is quite smart. I leik it a lot.

Any that I missed?

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Filed under fun, humor

Happy Love Day…again…

De ja vous anyone?

meish.org :: Be My Anti-Valentine – Happy Tuesday.

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Filed under humor

If the world’s cleverest man…

…cannot figure out women, and spends all day obsessing about them, what’s the hope for the rest of us?

Stephen Hawking – ‘Woman are a Complete Mystery’.

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Filed under humor, life

The Bicycle Diaries – Lithuania

Did anyone else see this yesterday?

Is this genius or madness? I don’t know what is better, the fact that the mayor is targeting the cars of the rich or the fact that we have this chav-gangster type who comes out ans says ‘oh, no, my poor car!’ Or that the mayor actualy cycles back, after cleaning the streets!

It is comedy gold, but of course, Vilnius is not the only place in the world where its elected officials takes place in crazy stunts to garner votes. However, the mayor of Vilnius does state something important. If these rich people are blatantly flouting the law, making the streets less safe for other users, what do we do with them?

Whether it will be a tank or a bunch of parking tickets, who knows? But what seems to be a common problem across much of Europe is the fact that cars and bikes do not get along. In London, it has got political, while in much of the continent, there are questions being raised about how much the car has come to dominate.

One thing is certain. A the internal combustion engine slowly slips into oblivion as oil runs out, it will be the humble pedal cycle that will still be around in a few decades time…

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Filed under europe, fun, humor, london

Mostly Harmless

Just a quickie today. If you are in the Solar System, do not not forget to pop into a small ball of water and dirt called Earth:


(The Earth from the edge of their stellar system – a mere 18 billion of their miles away)

With six space ports in the Northern Hemisphere (Kennedy, Baikonur, Guiana, Jiuquan, Satish and Tanegashima acting as entreports to this insignificant planet and none in the Southern Hemisphere, finding an available take-off or landing slot can be tricky. Teleportation devices are very useful when trying to access Earth.

A fair minority of the local bipeds have just discovered the use portable entertainment devices. Hence while they are commuting from one side of their world to the other (which due to their primitive use of fossil fuels can take between half and one of their daily rotation periods) they are often engrossed in the entertainment output of their own species. Most of the time, this involves watching members of their own species copulate with each other (and occasionally copulate with other species). However, due to their lack of interstellar travel they have still not discovered the pleasures of either Vulcan Love Slaves or Jaba’s brothel and emporium. Hence what they believe to be sex is in fact a much watered down version of the real thing.

There are some quite interesting sites to visit while on the planet. And amazingly, the local bipeds have built some impressive settlements. However, it is best to travel incognito. Already, there are too many wars in between the different areas of this planet as they are not used to people looking mildly different from each other – imagine if they found out that you had different genetics.

The main languages spoken are Insectoid and Russian. To be honest, most of the planet speaks its own languages and believe that the other species harbour no intelligence. These Earthlings have not yet discovered the ability of telepathy. For the most stimulating conversation however, head beneath the water’s surface (which covers the bulk of this rock) where you will be able to have a great time with a Warm Blooded species called Dolphins. They are also the kinkiest species this planet has to offer.

Apart from sex, the local inhabitants seem to spend a great deal of time eating. Some of the best food is found in the land of McDonalds and is served by its ruler, the King of the Burgers.

The climate is Mostly Harmless. Water does not boil anywhere. Due to the mostly pleasant climate, Silicone is a stable element throughout the globe has been harnessed by some of the local bipeds as a way to grow certain parts of their anatomy.

Local currency is a flimsy Earth metal known as Gold. Otherwise they also throw bits of paper and plastic at each other.

Good luck. And for a more detailed guide, written by some very aware bipeds, click here!

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Filed under fun, humor, places, travel

Easter TV

I do look forward to the whole Easter weekend when it comes to television. In between shifts, it is nice to sit down and watch one of those Ancient Bible Stories. You know, I want to see Charlton Heston riding a chariot or holding the Ten Commandments above his head. Hell, I want to see it all. The toppling of the Philistine’s temple, a heroic revolt . Hey, I will even take the non-Christian tales.

But where are those films? Those legendary bladder busters, relieved by the handy nearness of my own toilet. Nowhere! Check the TV schedules (do we still have them in this digitised/multichannel world), and it is filled with lousy programmes about someone’s upcoming wedding. Ugh…just leave them alone!

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Filed under easter, film, humor, life, television