(Date: 26th December, 2009)
Our top headline today, Switzerland is no more. The Large Hadron Collider has actually worked.
It produced a black hole and swallowed up the tiny mountain state in Western Europe, cuckoo clocks and all. At the time all the investment bankers, lawyers and tax dodgers of the western world were holidaying in their chalets in the country formerly known as Switzerland. They all got sucked up and vanished too.
Spontaneous celebrations are occurring in cities around the world as ordinary people take to the streets in order to mark the passing of the most reviled people on Earth.
The scientists behind the project are being hailed as heroes as they singlehandedly have wiped out centuries of nepotism and injustice in the flick of a switch. A spokesman for the group of doctors and professors behind the LHC told this blog:
‘I love it when a plan comes together’.