Random Post

Firstly, is it now okay to like the Spice Girls, some ten years after the fad passed us by? Or should I be ashamed of my love for turn of the century kitsch? And talking about turn of the century, can you believe that we are nearly through the first decade of the third Millennium AD? And why does my wireless keyboard suck at transmitting the letters that I type onto this page? Do you really think that all the spelling mistakes on this blog is simply due to my own incompetence?

But randomness aside, how are you, the reader of this blog? I generally ask for a stack of comments back to see who actually reads this. It is remarkable, that while people who I meet ‘in the flesh’ tell me that they read these spoutings, it is amazing just how few comments are left here. And talking about the real world, do you know there is a banana tree growing outside in London? With this current climate (another s**t summer to look forward to?), I am shocked that it has not withered and died.

For mangoes, betel nuts and some funky basil, then head to Bloomsbury and see the Indian Garden at the Brit Mus…

Anyhow, other than random wanders through London and more insight from the world of CWP I was asked, a couple of months back, by El Maestro, what I will be getting up to, now that there is no such immediate creative pressure. I suppose I could pass a comment on the worse of the recession being over. Oh yes, those famous green shoots. What is amusing (in a not-so-funny way) is how many in this part of the world are treating the depression as nothing more serious than a downsizing in our favourite brand of cereal. ‘The Credit Crunch’. The fundamentals of having an economy which produces nothing and is dependent on borrowing to actually live has not been addressed. Still, why bother knotting my brow? There are far more important things to do . I am off to Istanbul this winter! Yey!!!

Oh, and while I am in the free-spending mode, why not another visit to India in the Autumn? Well, I can (shockingly) afford it. Before Sterling drops to its realistic price, why not spend it like a drunkard before ‘le crunch’.

I better post a tweet. How about, just took a leak – a classic use of precious bandwidth. To think that the internet is publicised, not as a way to further humanity, nor as a cheap repository of other people having sex. It is a place where people can share the most inane details of their life, online, with a billion other drones. Well, what else am I meant to convey in 140 characters or less? The inner workings of the universe? Well, I suppose that anything is possible. I could dance with the fairies and sing with a couple of sopranos, but to be honest, my voice is better left ‘off’ than ‘on’.

I think I should eat cake. As a child I was denied cake. The fallout of having a mother who worked night shifts. So in retirement, cake is now in abundance. Diabetic joy. Other diseases that I am genetically susceptible to include high blood pressure, heart disease and anything affecting the respiratory tract. Cancer, at this moment in time, seems thankfully a distant thought. Talking about my lungs, odds on, now that I am in Swine Flu central, I will probably get it this winter. Joy. So I have a good chance of copping it before fulfilling all the things I want to do in my life. Travel the Congo River, get slapped about by a matriarchy and listen to live one of my musicals LIVE. But at least Jay and Kay are out there saving the world, for now…

So Charlie, are you still making films then?

The answer is very much YES!

Despite the recent posts on this blog which seem to be related to me wandering near and far, my main preoccupation in life has been filming, hence the name, El Director! Lately, I have not mentioned film making on this blog, mainly as I have been writing daily about the process of film making on the dedicated blog to Caution Wet Paint. And if yu want to see what I am getting upto in the world of film, it is usually a god idea to see that webpage, as I almost certainly update it on a daily basis.

So, what have I been getting up to in the world of film? Well, the adventures of Jay and Kay have continued into the world of Hi-Definition. In March I shot the main sequence and since then I have been editing This week, I put the final touches to the DVD that is currently being sent off to film festivals. At ten minutes long it is the longest incarnation of Jay and Kay to date. Go to the CWP website, and you can have a proper gander.

But why haven’t I talked about it. Well, to put it simply, I have actually been busy with the making of the film. Jay and Kay Save the World has taken up pretty much every waking thought of mine for the past third of this year, and I have been busy with the pre-production since 2008. All in all, I really want to talk about something else when I write this blog, hence the seemingly odd distractions for a director.

But there is also one other very good reason why I have not spoken much about the latest incarnation of Caution Wet Paint. Quite simply, I am terrified. For if the latest short from the CWP stable does not work, that is it, the idea is finished, dead in the water. And all the effort, all the highs and lows of the past two years, the fun and advancement that I have had with Caution Wet Paint would be for nothing. What started off as a brief showing the Canary Wharf FIlm Festival has actually given me my first real taste of the film industry. And it is a big, bad world to try and conquer. I have continued with Caution Wet Paint, partly as success breeds success but also as I actually enjoy making it. But two years later, all will be revealed. Is Caution Wet Paint the key to the promised land, or will the efforts of the past two years prove to be futile, an extensive cu-de-sac on the road of life.

You may begin to see why I have not mentioned much about film making on this blog recently.

So what happens if all else fails? Well, to be honest, I am not going to face up to that possibility. I have only just started the distribution and there will be a lot of twists and turns before this road is finished. This will occur that I can not yet foresee, but for the moment I will remain cautiously optimistic. I know what the strengths and weaknesses of this latest film are. They were the same pros and cons that I planned for in the Pre-production stage. In essence, the film making world is now out of my hands. For a director with no contacts, I am being a little ballsy with my ideas, but ultimately Caution Wet Paint has come as far as I can take it. Whatever will happen to this idea, this concept and to my film making career in general is no longer in my hands…

One picture, a thousand lives….

I love taking photos. Bad habit of mine, but there is a perverse enjoyment in just snapping happily away at whatever I please. Some of my favourite shots have been quite obvious accidents, but they look good, so I will not be telling anyone about them. I almost never use a tripod (unless I am filming), so they are subject to the juddering motions of my unsteady hands.

My travels have also led to an impressive number of photos from around the world. Some on film, a lot on my hard drive and far too many for a normal person to identify. But looking back on them, I feel the emotions I had when I took those pictures. What was going through my tiny little mind and what I wanted to achieve with that shot. Sometimes it was as simple as ‘that’s pretty’ and sometimes it was a lot more profound and inspiring. But all the time, wanted to share the experience with as many people as possible. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so my blogs could be a lot more concise if I took that piece of wisdom to heart.

Is there one picture that sums up my experience of life to date? Is there a picture which I took that could sum up the small number of years I have sent on this planet. Could it express the multitude of emotions within me, good and bad, inspirational and petty? Could it express my joys and anguish? Could it express both the simplicity and complexity of my life so far? And would it be an accurate description for what I believe life to be? Oh well, have a look. One picture to express a multitude of thoughts…

Philosophy of the Movie?

A mere ten days ago, I commented that it can be quite a dull thing to blog/talk about, especially if the reader/listener is not involved in making films. But sod it, I love talking about films, and that is because I am in the middle of making one!

Now while that is a pure pice of geekery, it does provide me with an enjoyable piece of escapism. And that is one of the big reasons why I am exercising my right to futility.

I am probably about a third of the way through my life, give or take, and assuming I live to the average British male lifespan. That’s it, one third of all my days on this Earth are gone, finished, never to return. And for what? Bills dropping though my letterbox, a job that neither is secure nor makes me fulfilled (not saying it is bad, but it is just a job), a life spent in debt so I can own my own two bedroom box only to end up selling it so I can spend my final days pi**ing in a cot looking up at the clouds wondering, what if? Maybe I look too much into life, maybe I read too deeply and should accept what people usually term as fate. But that is a hard thing for me to do, and also a depressing one. To believe that the best days are over and all I have left are an endless spew of commitments that won’t a make a difference to anyone and that instead of living, I am surviving, death by a thousand paper cuts instead of going out in a blaze of glory. Being paid enough so I can pay off what I owe. Seeing the world turn, and I myself powerless to stop it. What is the point of all this intelligence we have as humans, if we do not utilise it for more than just mediocre?

When you see the free spirited, the squatters, the hippies and all those other tree huggers, I can see why the general public, including myself, deride them. They are free from all the material bulls**t that we trap ourselves with. And while they do not have much, there is a happiness in having very little. In all my travels around the world and within this country, it is the people with the least that always give the most. It is the people who cannot afford to loose any more money that are easier with it. While the ones for whom it would not really make a difference are the people who are never any happier within the fortresses they have built themselves.

I need to eat, I need to put food on the table. Pretty much everything else is gravy, especially now that spring has left me without the need for central heating (I use a blanket at night). The path that I have chosen is rocky at best, and downright frustrating most of the time. And the likelihood of success is minute. But the hope of something better is an emotion I cling onto. To give up now would cause a fundamental change in the very being I call ‘myself’. I am holding onto the last vestiges of childhood and I know that eventually I must join the masses. But there must be something beyond that rock I am clinging onto…

Children…

Spawn of the loins, the scourge of society, scum and vermin. It is a wonder why we bother procreating. Sure, they are cute enough when they are young; only needing food, water and changing. But soon they grow up and that is when the trouble begins. Me, me, me, more selfish than my own ego, then come the teenage years. Experimentation and full rights but sod all responsibility, kids, spawn of other people’s loveless relationships are tearing away on the streets. It would be easier if they were shot.

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Calm. Chill. Relax.

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I am not a big fan of children, one of the big reasons for not having them. When you see other people’s offspring, it is a wonder why anyone would freely choose such a path to doom. after spending years trying to escape my own childhood, having to suddenly skull around for sex, bend over backwards for the whims of others ad the continuous conflicts makes you wonder if it is worth the hassle.

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Yet to be convinced of the merits of children.

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So as my generation slips into the years of child bearing, I wonder how many of my contemporaries will decide to take the plunge and not use contraception, deliberately. Anyone with stable partners are looking likely, and being in our late twenties, it is the time that we started to think about this. After all, with only six billion people on this world, we need to add our own unique genetic patterns to the soup. To reach out to infinity, beyond our own meagre lifespans. And after all the disappointments of our own personal dreams, what better way to justify our own existence than to get children. Then instead of doing things for ourselves, we can justify another mediocre existence with the phrase, ‘I’m doing it for the kids’.

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Smug families and the highlight of their own lives is free the parent and child parking spot at the supermarket.

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At this moment in time I do not feel ready enough for children. The major one being the lack of a stable partner (ah, to believe I am five years younger). The lack of a stable career is a hindrance, but that is only an excuse. Also the lack of interest. I am too wrapped up in my own life, in what I want to do. The twenties are the years that we lay the foundations for the rest of our lives, assuming it is not cut short by some driver skidding around on red wine. I still have over a year to go and the honest truth is that children are the furthest thought from my mind along with the thought of finding a long term partner. But as the sun set on my twenties and the new dawn of my thirties approach, there is one question I have to ask…

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When shall I actually begin to act my age, and not my shoe size?

Filming this Christmas

While many of us will be spending the holidays on holiday, I will be working like a dog, on two fronts. Firstly, I will be tearing round London’s streets at obscene times of the night to put cash in my wallet. Secondly, I will be spending my days creating, what I hope is to be, a visual masterpiece.

My films up until now have been simplistic affairs. Filmed on the cheap with poor sound, no sense of cinematography and shot quickly. Essentially they have been glorified home videos. But they have got me very far, considering the ways which they were made (poorly), and the experience of film making that I possessed (none).

Starting with ideas and scripts a few years ago, it is strange to see the journey so far. The fear of switching on a camera and editing on a computer has been replaced by cocky manhandling of my precious equipment and an internet presence that would make most spammers proud.

As a person who has never been to film school, I have been clueless about films. My education in film came from the PCC, my inertia towards cinema from my own mad writings (hey, how else do you think I can blog almost everyday) and my decision to plunge into film making from my own lack of foresight. Admittedly, now I see the credit crunch unfolding, I ‘may’ have made the right decision in not chasing after the money. Then again…

The real eye opener to making films came at Cannes this year, when I attended the Short Film Corner. This was where I was able to meet other film makers, see what was being made and see how the ‘movers and shakers’ in the industry were doing things. On a more fundamental level, I actually saw why producers and distributors did business the way they did. That was really important. I got to see what people were not doing as well. Finally, I also saw what was being produced by other film makers in my position.

Skip forward six months and it is Christmas. I plan to shoot two short film by March ‘09 and to have everything wrapped up by May. A tall order. Each time I have started on a new project, I have advanced somewhat. Now this next step is crucial, although it is so basic to the concept of film. Firstly, to make my films actually cinematic. Secondly, to make then sound nice.

Let me tackle the sound first of all. I have got a decent mic, finally. And yes, it does work really well, but I am not going to bother with sound until February, when I make a follow-on to the adventures of Jay and Kay.

For the moment, I am tackling the problems with visuals and finding solutions to them. Creating great lighting, pulling the focus point just right, knowing how to frame the subject, camera movements, etc. Initial results are promising, but there is still a lot of work to do. This first short film should be wrapped up by the beginning of the New Year, and I should have a rough cut by the end of January. And this short film, ‘The Railway Tracks’ is of a very different vein to the Paint. Darker, more twisted and with some funky camera angles to boot.

It is a scary moment for me, as I have to live upto the small steps forward that I have achieved so far. As with many things in the world of film, everything rests on what I can and cannot achieve. And I do not know whether the outcome will be successful or not. Only time will tell…

Blogging…

I am pretty proud about October’s Blog. Firstly, I managed to do a post a day and after the torrid September, that is not bad. Now, the blogs were not of a superb quality, I have written far better. But one thing I was very proud of was the distinct difference between this blog and the CWP blog although they sometimes covered similar subjects.

The reason I have enjoyed this month has been threefold. Firstly, the sheer amount of news. Yeah…second, the sheer fun of the Star Trek series which I will probably do next year. Thirdly, there were some political moments that I really enjoyed.

Well, well, November started off well (and in fact, I also enjoyed the end of last month). Keep on enjoying the blogs!

My Horoscope – Monkey

Apparently I am a monkey. Yes, as humans we are all descended from the same ancestor as apes (unless you are from Hicksville (USA), in which case the Garden of Eden is just east of Dagenham Docks). So as a Monkey, I have the following characteristics. I am Intelligent (good), but Opinionated (bad). Beautiful (?) but Superficial (what do you expect!). Charming yet Manipulative. Don’t believe me, then the wiki has all the truths you can edit! Apparently the best hours in the day are between 3-5pm (is that GMT or Hong Kong time?) and I like cloves (actually I do).

However the monkey, while not as romantic as the Dragon or as funky as the Tiger, is meant to be quite a cool sign. After all, the USA and India are Monkey countries which means that this century and the next will be ruled by monkeys. Yeah! (oh dear)

All right, it gets more complicated. I am a metal monkey (chuckles mischievously at the thought of super powers that could be obtained from this combination). This is the strongest monkey and the strongest metal. Apparently this is a very good combination and that we should be masters of the universe. Apparently.

The past three ‘paragraphs’ might make me out to be some kind of cynic when it comes to being a monkey, and yes, I have to ask that if we are the supreme beings that Ancient Chinese mythology states, why is our generation, the guys and gals born 1980-1, such a bunch of losers. It is not as if we have changed the world (continue to pollute endlessly, continue to slash the rainforest and will generally leave the world in a worse state than we found it in), achieved in terms of fame (think of any great footballers/singers/writers/artists/scientists aged 27-8?). Any ‘achievers’ are either slightly older or younger, but it seems that 1980 was the year of the Brainless Monekys (if there is one link you must click in this post, make it this one). We still act as if we are sixteen (what else is driving the credit crunch), work in jobs we despise for a lifestyle that is merely an illusion with the best hope in life being a shot on FUB-Factor.

Wait a minute, this is meant to be a blog on the Year of the Monkey, not a piece of social commentary. Ooh, look what it says here…if I place an egg in the west, I will displace negative energy. Wow, life is great, and all it needs is a piece of battery farmed produce! Oh, wait a minute, what’s this? Do not propose unless serious as the proposal will probably get accepted. Mmm, better keep my gob shut then.

Well, a monkey to add to my Gemini. As I look to the Heavens rather than to Earth for a meaning to life, tomorrow will obviously bring something new*.

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(*Disclaimer: While it is true that tomorrow will bring something new, I myself cannot predict the future accurately enough to guarantee such a change. You might killed (odds on some w**ker in a 4×4 at a roundabout by the Thames will attempt knock you off your bicycle and you cannot brake because the rain has made your pads as useful as a c**k flavoured lollypop), stuck in a cycle of cause and effect (Groundhog Day) or just be very dull (anyone on the Northern Line between 7-8am, BST). In other words, life is in your hands. Oh dear…)

My Horoscope – Gemini

I am a Gemini. That means, the moment I popped out of the womb, the Sun, some three thousand years previously, was passing through the constellation of the twins.

This apparently makes me the person I am. Firstly, I am untrustworthy. Being the twins, we have a split personality (duality is the technical term); one minute kind, the next minute I will stab you in the back. Well, I suppose there are advantages!

Sorry, distracted. The rambling thoughts of a man who has two voices in his brain. Apparently. (Personally, I blame being left handed, rather than being a Gemini).

But enough, let us go for the positives. I can apparently multi-task well, I am charming and attention-loving. On the negative side, I am over-stimulated, insensitive and ego-orientated. To be honest, they are exactly the same characteristics for a person, what is the difference!

Well, that is what the wikivine tells me so I must believe in my positives and negatives.

Some may call me cynical and yes, I take the mumbo jumbo in the newspaper next to the cartoon strips with one, huge, blood pressure busting, cellar of salt. I think there is more to life than the vague words spouted out by a person wearing a cape. If so than this month had the greatest love of my life followed by unbelievable success in my professional life followed by a fateful meeting in an exotic locale. Again.

But I am glad I am a Gemini. We are an interesting part of the zodiac. We actually have flair and unlike something dull such as Aries (a bloody sheep!) or Virgo (giggles uncontrollably), everyone has heard of Gemini and once you meet us, you can never forget us.

Mmm…maybe there is something in that mumbo-jumbo after all…thank goodness for being born at the end of May. It gave my life a purpose, a meaning and of course a place in the zodiac that freaks out the other 11/12th’s of the population.

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Oh, and in other news, Kay decides to go to work. Kay not in the nude. One day, all of you will die. Yes, die…(no split personalities here!)

The One Question I Avoid

Love.

Maybe I should give some background to this. I was watching one of Barry’s videos, and he talks about what question he avoids, namely love. Likewise, I also do not talking about direct emotions. I am quite loud and use my boistrous nature to cover up my failings, but like many people on this planet, I of course am a hopeless romantic and am looking for a wonderful person with which to share my life.

Now, I have the commitment of ice in the middle of summer and I enjoy flash in the pans quite readily. I must admit that once the spark leaves a relationship, I loose interest quickly. My emotional maturity has not progressed beyond that of teenager.

Oh well, I made a video response to Barry’s original vid which you can check out:

Watch my response HERE