I want to be Khan

My favourite character from history, and one of the coolest people that has ever graced the planet, Ghengis Khan. Or if you are Persian, than the worst thing since the Greeks. Ether way, I have to like this guy’s style. He had it all, the wide open steppe, horses, a cunning wife, a tyrannical mother and most of all a thirst for travel.

All right, maybe I am Romancing the Stone here, but there is definitely something to be admired when looking at Ghengis Khan’s life. I think I am going to have to buy a book soon…

Tuesday was too busy, I’m taking today off!

Today has been a night off work. Not that this has really meant much. Spent the morning washing out the wheelie bins. It’s summer, the stuf stinks and I do not want an infestation of maggots. Other handy bits of housework included repairing that tear in the shed roof (hopefully should last this winter) as well as securing the pipe that feeds gas to our fireplace against the wall.

But it was very much a CWP day too! Oh yes, this was multitasking at its best. Re-did the subtitles to Jay and Kay Save the World but also got lost in translation and produced a version with French subtitles. Oui, the whole point is to expand ‘l’horizons’ and venture into new film festival territory. Like all things involving computers, this went as smoothly as a residential road in South London. Littered with pot holes and glass. Rendering, re-rendering, finding out I had a spelling mistake in the ENGLISH SUBTITLES!!! Man, I am fed up of this computer. But finally, I managed to burn a decent copy of the DVD, with a nice little menu option (slight improvement on the original) as well as aligning my subtitles nicely so that even on a small TV set, they won’t get chopped off.

But, I am very much switching off this computer tomorrow. After all, I need to get my hands on a saw…

Random Post

Firstly, is it now okay to like the Spice Girls, some ten years after the fad passed us by? Or should I be ashamed of my love for turn of the century kitsch? And talking about turn of the century, can you believe that we are nearly through the first decade of the third Millennium AD? And why does my wireless keyboard suck at transmitting the letters that I type onto this page? Do you really think that all the spelling mistakes on this blog is simply due to my own incompetence?

But randomness aside, how are you, the reader of this blog? I generally ask for a stack of comments back to see who actually reads this. It is remarkable, that while people who I meet ‘in the flesh’ tell me that they read these spoutings, it is amazing just how few comments are left here. And talking about the real world, do you know there is a banana tree growing outside in London? With this current climate (another s**t summer to look forward to?), I am shocked that it has not withered and died.

For mangoes, betel nuts and some funky basil, then head to Bloomsbury and see the Indian Garden at the Brit Mus…

Anyhow, other than random wanders through London and more insight from the world of CWP I was asked, a couple of months back, by El Maestro, what I will be getting up to, now that there is no such immediate creative pressure. I suppose I could pass a comment on the worse of the recession being over. Oh yes, those famous green shoots. What is amusing (in a not-so-funny way) is how many in this part of the world are treating the depression as nothing more serious than a downsizing in our favourite brand of cereal. ‘The Credit Crunch’. The fundamentals of having an economy which produces nothing and is dependent on borrowing to actually live has not been addressed. Still, why bother knotting my brow? There are far more important things to do . I am off to Istanbul this winter! Yey!!!

Oh, and while I am in the free-spending mode, why not another visit to India in the Autumn? Well, I can (shockingly) afford it. Before Sterling drops to its realistic price, why not spend it like a drunkard before ‘le crunch’.

I better post a tweet. How about, just took a leak – a classic use of precious bandwidth. To think that the internet is publicised, not as a way to further humanity, nor as a cheap repository of other people having sex. It is a place where people can share the most inane details of their life, online, with a billion other drones. Well, what else am I meant to convey in 140 characters or less? The inner workings of the universe? Well, I suppose that anything is possible. I could dance with the fairies and sing with a couple of sopranos, but to be honest, my voice is better left ‘off’ than ‘on’.

I think I should eat cake. As a child I was denied cake. The fallout of having a mother who worked night shifts. So in retirement, cake is now in abundance. Diabetic joy. Other diseases that I am genetically susceptible to include high blood pressure, heart disease and anything affecting the respiratory tract. Cancer, at this moment in time, seems thankfully a distant thought. Talking about my lungs, odds on, now that I am in Swine Flu central, I will probably get it this winter. Joy. So I have a good chance of copping it before fulfilling all the things I want to do in my life. Travel the Congo River, get slapped about by a matriarchy and listen to live one of my musicals LIVE. But at least Jay and Kay are out there saving the world, for now…

So Charlie, are you still making films then?

The answer is very much YES!

Despite the recent posts on this blog which seem to be related to me wandering near and far, my main preoccupation in life has been filming, hence the name, El Director! Lately, I have not mentioned film making on this blog, mainly as I have been writing daily about the process of film making on the dedicated blog to Caution Wet Paint. And if yu want to see what I am getting upto in the world of film, it is usually a god idea to see that webpage, as I almost certainly update it on a daily basis.

So, what have I been getting up to in the world of film? Well, the adventures of Jay and Kay have continued into the world of Hi-Definition. In March I shot the main sequence and since then I have been editing This week, I put the final touches to the DVD that is currently being sent off to film festivals. At ten minutes long it is the longest incarnation of Jay and Kay to date. Go to the CWP website, and you can have a proper gander.

But why haven’t I talked about it. Well, to put it simply, I have actually been busy with the making of the film. Jay and Kay Save the World has taken up pretty much every waking thought of mine for the past third of this year, and I have been busy with the pre-production since 2008. All in all, I really want to talk about something else when I write this blog, hence the seemingly odd distractions for a director.

But there is also one other very good reason why I have not spoken much about the latest incarnation of Caution Wet Paint. Quite simply, I am terrified. For if the latest short from the CWP stable does not work, that is it, the idea is finished, dead in the water. And all the effort, all the highs and lows of the past two years, the fun and advancement that I have had with Caution Wet Paint would be for nothing. What started off as a brief showing the Canary Wharf FIlm Festival has actually given me my first real taste of the film industry. And it is a big, bad world to try and conquer. I have continued with Caution Wet Paint, partly as success breeds success but also as I actually enjoy making it. But two years later, all will be revealed. Is Caution Wet Paint the key to the promised land, or will the efforts of the past two years prove to be futile, an extensive cu-de-sac on the road of life.

You may begin to see why I have not mentioned much about film making on this blog recently.

So what happens if all else fails? Well, to be honest, I am not going to face up to that possibility. I have only just started the distribution and there will be a lot of twists and turns before this road is finished. This will occur that I can not yet foresee, but for the moment I will remain cautiously optimistic. I know what the strengths and weaknesses of this latest film are. They were the same pros and cons that I planned for in the Pre-production stage. In essence, the film making world is now out of my hands. For a director with no contacts, I am being a little ballsy with my ideas, but ultimately Caution Wet Paint has come as far as I can take it. Whatever will happen to this idea, this concept and to my film making career in general is no longer in my hands…

Adverts

You can tell a lot about the country you are in by the adverts on billboards and by the adverts on TV. The adverts on billboards appeal to those with very little time. They must be able to communicate their product in an instant in order to gauge the attention of the busy public. However, the advert on TV has no need for such simplistic methods of communication and can rely on fear and loathing in order to sell their product. After all, their audience is far too lazy to switch channels, so they are the most gullible.

For instance, in the UK. Billboards wax lyrical about new mobile phone deals with pretty young women holding those said phones or highlight some fashionable piece of clothing, while TV tells you to make your life better you must do this (buy this skin product, worm out of debt, etc.). Sex always sells…

On India, the billboards tell you about the latest mobile phone deals with pretty young women holding those said phones or highlight some fashionable piece of clothing, while TV tells you to make your life better (buy this skin product, worm out of your mobile phone contract). Sex always sells, no matter what…

But some adverts are distinctly local. In Shillong, the town (like many others in India) are plastered with ads, but as English (not Hindi) is the official language of Meghalaya state, I am able to read so much more of the adverts and so partake in the great capitalist adventure…

I like billboards as they give a keen insight into the workings of a society. Sex is the universal salesman, no matter what part of the world you are in, there is always a pretty woman advocating you to part with your cash in order to make your life more successful (and so by association) get into bed with her/become like her. But there are other things I like to see. What is being advertised is what is indicative of what society wants or what society currently oversupplies. Like chatting to a local person about the ups and downs of life, a billboard is an important window into the soul of a country.

But sometimes, no matter where you go in this world, the adverts are exactly the same. After all this is one world that we are living in, and so what else but a single brand can unify the whole of humanity in happiness and love (with the assistance of a lot of cash). And that ad will always be the same. ‘Happy’. ‘Smiling’. ‘Joyous’. ‘Youthful’. ‘Sickly Sweet’.

(Please note that there is no way in hell that I endorse any of the above products, except for the purposes of sheer comedy! Beacause I really want that mobile phone…)

A nice St George’s Eve

So, in case anyone missed out on the obvious, today is the feast day of England’s patron saint. But as yesterday, the sun was shining, essential as our esteemed Chancellor had a lot of bad news to deliver in his budget. So you can see, with these two factors firmly in people’s minds, no one gave a toss about getting out a flag for George, or other jingoistic tat. There was far more important things to think about.

Really, I have no opinion on the budget. The government is shafted no matter what it does, although all that bailing out has screwed us for generations to come. As a nation we are heavily in debt, and that it is a millstone around our necks. Interestingly, something I thought I would never see in my lifetime, is the re-introduction of the Super Tax. With state intervention occurring everywhere, I think it is safe to say that Thatcherism is pretty much dead in the water at the moment…to be honest, although the headlines scream out 50%, that figure is not going to affect the bulk of us (although I disagree with punitive tax rises). What is a shocker is to see how much as a nation we are borrowing. Oh well, will the last person in Britain please turn out the lights?

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All right, the blogs have been pretty thin on the ground this week, and all for good reason. Jay and Kay Save the World. Yes, very busy editing that little number…

The Blog of El Director

I may talk about a lot of things, in fact this blog is quite soothing as my own min-rant against te world. But I rarely talk about the title of the blog, or my filming. That’s partly due to the fact that I use the CWP Blog to discuss such things. But I felt that today’s blog would be an appropriate tim to write about directing, and the direction of my own films.

The reality is that I should really name myself ‘El Writer’ or something along those lines. After all, I write a prodigious amount and despite my awful spelling and dodgy grammar I seem to write stuff which makes some people smile…but most importantly, I write in a fashion which seems to suit a visual medium. And that is why I direct, to portray on screen as close to what is in my mind’s eye, when I write on the page.

Caution Wet Paint is one such story, big script, a musical comedy. It takes in the best of East London, has a bunch of crazy characters and includes a mad ride on a scooter, a dance on a rooftop and a song about milk. More importantly it takes a look at love, a love that works for some and a love that fails for others. And it is a story the follows the love lives of two characters Jay and Kay.

For the past two and a half years, I have been screening a bunch of webisodes with Jay and Kay doing various things. At first, they may seem random, even farcical, but there is a plan. Each of those webisodes refer to a particular point in the main film itself. They may happen between Jay and Kay during the course of the film, they may only involve main characters or they may involve characters from the movie other than Jay and Kay. In otherwords, I have been road testing out bits of the script that I saw in my mind, but did not know if they would work in reality. Most of them had, although there are a few raspberries to look out for.

In those past years I have worked with Ari and Kuldip as Jay and Kay and with Nick as my musician. It has been one hell of a past two and a half years, and we have all had our ups and downs. But no matter what we have said and done, we have acted like professionals when it has come to getting the job done and despite the lack of time, money or resources have managed to come very far from our first offering to film festivals.

We have all changed in those past two and a half years, and the glitz of youth have slowly faded as we all begin to leave the world of ideals behind and hurtle into the world known as reality. Despite what all of us go through in our own daily lives, we have managed to come together on a regular basis to make Caution Wet Paint. I wrote the characters of Jay and Kay with Ari and Kuldip in my mind, but these two actors have taken those characters and evolved it into something far more than I first imagined.

This weekend saw the final shoot of a Caution Wet Paint short, ‘Jay and Kay Save the World’. It is not the end of the Paint, but more like a beginning. For me, my next aim is the movie, the big one. Now, the likelihood of succeeding is miniscule and by this time next year, I will be in all likelihood trying to make features by hook or crook rather than actually getting paid to make them. But it is a calculated leap. Not a leap of desperation, but one of evolution. I feel now is the right time to take ‘Caution Wet Paint’ to the next level, to the level of a feature film. Yes, there will be plenty of webisodes, vlogs and other sort videos coming out, but my main project for the next few months will be a short made for film festivals and this short is ‘Jay and Kay Save the World’. A showreel for the Paint and hopefully fun-filled entertainment for cinemagoers at festivals huge, large and small; famous, elite and general, worldwide in the next year.

I have worked with a brilliant number of people over the years, and I have only come this far due to the help and assistance of many brilliant people around me. I hope to work productively with these and many more in the months and years to come. To all of you, thank you.

What I am trying to achieve is a tough aim, and I know my path is about to get a lot more interesting. But what the hell, fortune favours the bold…

The Real Deal

Tomorrow is when the first day of shooting will occur. That’s a big one. Three days of fun in total where the future of Caution Wet Paint in its current guise is viable or not. It is something which I am gunning for and something that along with the rest of the cast and the crew, I have been preparing for and planning for a long time.

But a picture is worth a thousand words and a video a heck of a lot more, so take a click to see the prep work behind the scenes.

One picture, a thousand lives….

I love taking photos. Bad habit of mine, but there is a perverse enjoyment in just snapping happily away at whatever I please. Some of my favourite shots have been quite obvious accidents, but they look good, so I will not be telling anyone about them. I almost never use a tripod (unless I am filming), so they are subject to the juddering motions of my unsteady hands.

My travels have also led to an impressive number of photos from around the world. Some on film, a lot on my hard drive and far too many for a normal person to identify. But looking back on them, I feel the emotions I had when I took those pictures. What was going through my tiny little mind and what I wanted to achieve with that shot. Sometimes it was as simple as ‘that’s pretty’ and sometimes it was a lot more profound and inspiring. But all the time, wanted to share the experience with as many people as possible. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so my blogs could be a lot more concise if I took that piece of wisdom to heart.

Is there one picture that sums up my experience of life to date? Is there a picture which I took that could sum up the small number of years I have sent on this planet. Could it express the multitude of emotions within me, good and bad, inspirational and petty? Could it express my joys and anguish? Could it express both the simplicity and complexity of my life so far? And would it be an accurate description for what I believe life to be? Oh well, have a look. One picture to express a multitude of thoughts…

The Final Dress Rehearsal

Today was one of those days when…oooh, the nerves jangle the director. It is the final dress rehearsal for Caution Wet Paint. Now for my poor actors, they have to put up with things such as last minute changes in scripts, tantrums and of course the inevitable demands of a director’s ego. You can see the frustration of Ari (Jay from CWP) by clicking here. Ahh, the poor actor…ha!

Seriously, today was a superb dress rehearsal. I was really happy to see an improvement by everyone this week over last. However come Saturday we have the main shoot beginning and this is going to be a session in style. Or so I hope. It will be a difficult shoot, partly as this version of the Paint has to go further than anything else previously. It is the point whether I have to prove whether I am a man or just a boyhood director. And it will be a new way in which to make films. Whether or not there is a possibility of getting a film up and onto the big screen. Well, there is only one way to find out…roll on next week!