Weirdos

Last night while at work was one of the more unusual pair of people that I saw get on the bus. It was a man and a woman, or more lile a boy and a girl, they were both barely 25.

The boy skipped onto the bus. Drunk. The girl (who I can assue was his girlfriend) toppled on. She then staggered and laid herself on the cab’s assault screen. She started to fumble in her bag for her pass. She continued to fumble. And continued. Meanwhile, the boy starte to laugh. Not a hearty laugh, but more like a snigger. Remember Beavis and Butthead? Yeah, like that.

So they sit down. THroughout the journey they both seem to be in their own world, although they are both sat next to each other. THroughout the journey, the girl gets up as if she wants to vomit, but manages to contain herself. The boy continues to laugh. Yeah, like that.

Well, she couldn’t contain herself, so after spewing the lower deck wth her insides, they both got off. At the bus stop, the boy started to beat the shelter up. But not in a manly way, or aggressive. Just weird. Yeah. Like that…

Terminal 4

I was at the airport today, seeing off people. I know at the moment that it is fashionable to bash Heathrow, and with the opening of Terminal 5 needing some serious PR work in order to convince the world that it is working, I may just seem to be another little blogger jumping on the bandwagon. Of course, there is the third runway. Just for the record, I can see arguments both for and against the third runway, and so at the moment I am a complete fence sitter on the subject.

At just under twenty-three years old, Terminal Four is not the oldest structure at Heathrow, but it was looking a little bit tardy until recently. I have used it quite a few times in the past, especially when BA used to fly to Seychelles. And to be honest, if you decide to drive into Heathrow, Terminal 4 is the easiest one to get to, built in the spirit of the 1980’s! Now BAA have decided on an overhaul of the terminal, something that is long overdue.

Oh dear.

On entering the car park, I knew something was very wrong. Poorly lit, just like, well, a multi-storey car park, there was nowhere to get a luggage trolley. The lifts, simply smelt of piss. All this for a tenner.

Then came the terminal itself. You could check in at Zone A (huge and empty), B (equally empty as there were no flights for the super jumbo leaving) or E (past the hoardings, pass more hoarding, yeah, that’s it, right at the end, in the corner, where the lights dim out because we cannot replace the bulbs, that queue, well actully, that crowd, yeah, we managed to spare three check-in desks for you, that’s all right, that’s where you got to go). It took an hour and a half to finally check-in. Goodness knows where their bags have ended up.

Oh, we haven’t come to the best part, something to eat. While I am fully aware of the rip off at the airport, at least I would like to get ripped off. However, at Terminal Four you have the choice of the following: a branch of a nationwide chain of newsagents, a branch of a coffee shop franchise, an overcrowded pub (also part of a chain) or a hotel (there are only three of these in the world). That’s it. But, there are four money changing facilities available, should you wish to directly consume sterling! Terminal 4 must be the only airport building in the country where money changers outnumber eateries.

To say Heathrow is a disgrace is a cliche. But for the first time, I really was disgusted at London. Yeah, we know London is a dump, it is ill planned and all that. But, it has character, and it does it in a fascinating way. Really, would it have been so much effort to close Terminal four while it was being rebuilt? And could they rebuild it in such an incompetent way? Because at the moment, there is nothing to that terminal. It may not get the news or glamour of T5, but surely, someone else must have noticed how sickening that building is. As a first impression of Britain, it is soul destroying. As a final two fingered salute to the departures from this island, it does a bulldog proud. Spare yourself the insult that is T4 and head somewhere else. Anywhere else. Even, (gulp), Terminal 2…

What the Flock?

I have three web browsers on my computer, and I only just discovered, after being on version 1.2.something for umpteen weeks that I needed an update. So bang, I visit the flock website and find out that there is already a version 2.

Well, what do I think. Flock is not my main browser, but I use it to manage all my CWP biz. It is simply convenient to have all the listings up on the side bar with all the accounts remembered for me.

I also like the way that the newsfeeds easily line up on the side. In the ‘morning’, with my tea and toast, I like to read the news on my compie and so flock is a good way to wake up. And flock does look nice. Things like posting a blog or uploading photos are pretty easy and there are some great firefox tools that come with it.

However, for pure ‘business’, I prefer to go with other, faster browsers and ones that, to be honest, are simpler. For me, Flock is great as it appeals to my sense of frivolity and fun, and using flock is an enjoyable way to surf the net. However, you do need a fast computer in order to truly appreciate it and the bundle of uses you can get from it. However, if I want to write an e-mail or do official things, even (sorry flock) online shopping, I prefer to use something with less clutter. Also, it would be great if there were auto-update reminders that would appear. Updating my browser is something that is not entirely painful, but it is no something I do automatically. Luckily, my other applications do them almost automatically, but Flock did not tell me of its Christmas gift to the world.

Well, do I recommend Flock? If you are simple net user who just reads the news and checks e-mails then no. You do not need it. However, if you love your social networking, gotta have the latest news, ‘goss’ and blogfeeds streaming in, and enjoy mucking about with online gadgets, than I heartily recommend it. One thing however, make sure you have a powerful machine. It takes up a lot of juice to run this particular browser.

Fantasy Holidays

I have been very lucky to have extensively travelled over many pats of the Earth. Usually I travel to places that I want to see, places that have captured my imagination since a young age, fantasies that have built up in my mind. Other times, I take a quick holiday somewhere, just for the curiosity. Always, the sense of adventure prevails and there is always a sense of good that I feel whenever I simple head off somewhere unknown.

Later in the year I am off to Assam. The North East of India has fascinated me since I first learnt to read maps. How it existed, so cut off from the rest of the country, dominated by the Brahmaputra river running through it. With the Bay of Bengal on one side and Tibet on the other. It is only for two and a half weeks, but I cannot wait. It will be an adventure, and the best thing is that I know very little about the place…

V-Logging

Yo!

Dear Investor

We are writing to you, esteemed investor to reiterate and reassure that our fine establishment is fine!

After all, we are well funded, are still making money and let us be honest here, we are never going to surrender!

See you at our next AGM where there will be caviar and champagne for all who are invited*, and do not worry about us, we will still be making money, come what may!

Tutty bye-bye!

Lord Toffington

(CEO Big British Banking Corp)

*Champagne, Caviar, Prostitutes, Limosuines and Corporate jets will be provided to the biggest 6 shareholders** only. These include myself, Lord Houghty Toughty (Chief Operating Officer), Lord Mason, Lord Mybestbuddy From School, Lord Truscott Moonie Taylor Snape and Sir Someone not that Important.

**We do not really count the government as a shareholder. After all, they roll over whenever we tell them to, hahaha!

What January?

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t today the 25th January 2009? That means there are only 340 days until the end of the ‘noughties’, and more worryingly, the first month of the year is nearly over. I do not know whether it is the effect of weekly vlogging or near near daily blogging that brings it home so keenly, but how quickly does time pass?

Oh well, off to the studio! Tune in!

Crossings of the River Thames 19: Vauxhall Bridge

Late last year I was at the southern end of Vauxhall Bridge just as a random visit to another gyratory system in South London. And last night I was again in Vauxhall, but for very different reasons. And last night too, I crossed Vauxhall Bridge the gateway to Central London and the beginning of 2009’s Crossings of the River Thames.

Now, from a distance, this does not seem to be much of a bridge, especially after the fantastic examples of late last year. But this is quite a whopper of a bridge. Allegedly 80ft wide, it has bus lanes, cycle tracks as well as carrying the traffic trying to escape London’s Congestion Charge. It’s big and chunky to drive across, daunting if on foot. Admittedly the surroundings do not do it any favours. Also it is surprisingly rusty…

But I like this bridge. For it has one of those little quirks that truly makes it a Londonesque bridge. Figurines. Statues, representing the arts and the sciences. Of course, being London, there is no way in hell you can actually get a decent view of these sculptures if you are on solid land, as can be seen:

Eight statues, on the downstream side they represent Local Government, Education, Fine Arts and Astronomy. On the upstream side Agriculture, Architecture, Engineering and Pottery are fashioned out.

(Miss Pottery in all her glory!)

This is one of those times when it is definitely better to be a water rat than a cyclist. I was lucky enough to have been treated to a cruise down the Thames and the Vauxhall crossing was one of my favourites, simply due to the statues that were there.

And so, back to the bridge. At just over a hundred years old in its current guise, it has taken its toll with a quiet dignity. Linking Pimlico with Vauxhall and on a grander scale, linking the Inner Ring Road across the river, Vauxhall Bridge is in a fascinating place. On the North Bank of the Bridge is the Tate Gallery or as it was more recently branded, Tate Britain. I have only visited this particular gallery once, not being a big fan of the arts itself. Although I admit to being a philistine, the building itself is quite nice.

However, no visit to Vauxhall Bridge is complete without a take on MI6. This gargantuan structure on the South side of the river is pretty, well, obvious for the Secret service. It also serves to remind the taxpayer how much cash we actually generate for the Exchequer. Everytime you surf for porn on the net, a little light bulb goes off in this building. Everytime you type in the phrase ‘Osama is my Hero’, two light bulbs go off. (Remember, the name of the president of the USA is spelt with a B not an S).

Getting there and away:

Phew, this is going to be a big list. Nearest Rail/Tube is Vauxhall. Bus routes are a plenty, including the 2, 36 (24 hours), 77, 87, 88 (24 hours), 156, 185, 196, 344 (24 hours), 360, 436, N2, N87 and the N136. Or if you’re in Whitehall, just walk along the tunnel…

The River Thames so far…

My journey so far has taken me on a rich and varied path across London. From my humble beginnings at Hampton, I have slowly followed this water course through England’s only Metropolis. At first it felt that I was only flirting with the city. Green spaces and woodland marked my path on the Surrey and the Middlesex banks. But slowly the sprawl grew more intense, the traffic more dense and yet the course held true. Once a month I would head down to the river and discover a little bit more about the city I call home.

Through the mighty streets of West London I cruised, stopping to take in the architectural delights of the riverside. I continued this journey through London and now I have turned a corner.

At Vauxhall, my next crossing, I would have reached a major milestone. The beating heart of the Capital, I have arrived at. During the bulk of 2009, my course will take me through the Centre of town itself. Not only will my journey be filled with history, but landmarks itsef. People from all over the world come to marvel at this stretch of water. Parliament, the South Bank, St Paul’s, Bankside and The Tower will vie for my attention in this short stretch of the Thames.

I, like many other Londoners, do not really appreciate the city that I live in, the wonders of my hometown, but during this journey I have discovered and shared with you, what I have learned. I hope you continue to enjoy and follow my travels downstream as I continue to Cross the River Thames…

What might happen if Britain defaults on its debts?

At the moment, we in Britain are spending like there is no tomorrow. We have an infallible belief that things can only get better and so are busy hoovering up banks left, right and centre as well as committing ourselves huge projects such as Crossrail, the 2012 Olympics, new Nuclear Submarines and a couple of aircraft carriers to boot. Oh and there’s that new Super Train from Terminal 6 and other big things to keep the economy afloat.

Now as much as I love the Olympics coming to London (we beat Paris, that’s all) and Crossrail (finally!) the fact of the matter is that we cannot afford a single thing. Britain is bankrupt, there is nothing coming into the coffers and as jobs keep on depleting, we are heading into another tax black hole. Welcome back to the future, welcome to 1979…

Okay, it may not be that bad, and I can only gleam from the text books. But for the very first time, there is a feeling that Britain cannot keep on paying its debts. In other words, we as a nation are going to miss out on a loan payment. Default. Oh hell, we have all skipped payments. Well, maybe not all of us, but you know those red-lettered bills that come through the door. Imagine one that is for the whole country, all 60 million of us.

Ah sod it, it’s not our money and all those stupid people who were dumb enough to lend to us deserve what they get. Well, yes, but no. And for one good reason. We are not a part of the Euro.

If we defaulted and we were a part of the Euro, then it would not matter as we would not bankrupt the currency. However, we have kept our Sovereign Sterling. Minus any gold that was meant to back it up. In other words we have a lot of paper with the Queen’s head printed on it and nothing else to save us from bankruptcy. The only reason people want to accept Pound Sterling from around the world is that they believe it will get them something and not because QEII is smiling at them.

If we default on our national debt (a possibility) then the price of Sterling will plummet as investors will take their cash anywhere but here and Iceland. Now a weak currency is good for manufacturers but a currency that is too weak is next to useless, and for good reason. We, as a nation do not make a single thing.

Take tea and biscuits. A simple, traditional British snack. Well, the biscuit is made of wheat and as a nation we are not self sufficient in wheat, we import a lot of in from Europe. Sugar comes from the West Indies (for the biscuit and the tea) and going back to the Continent we also need our milk from France. Of course our Tea comes from a variety of places such as India, Kenya and Sri Lanka. And it goes much further than tea and biscuits. A lot of our food products are imported and no cut-price war amongst the supermarkets can disguise the effects of not being able to import food. There was rationing in WWII as we had the Germans bombing the food convoys into the UK. At that time the population of the UK was 10 million less than it was today. And the UK had an Empire where it could grab food from. There is no such luxury today. If the Pound drops, then we starve. Time to start uprooting those patios in the back garden…

And it will not stop at food. Oil and Gas are now imported by the UK, so expect rationing and/or blackouts to accompany the collapse in currency. And you can forget about getting that new widescreen TV made in China…

Also do not forget the value on savings that will occur as Sterling drops. Money in the banks will be worthless. Feel like a crime spree?

Essentially this country has nothing to give to the world but its taxpayer’s cash. If that can’t happen…

Well, the UK has not defaulted on a debt since the formation of the Bank of England (the original debt bundle). But with the levels we are talking about plus the fact that we are taking on not just any ordinary company’s debts but the debts of money lenders, then, we are f**ked!

Expect to be taxed to the hilt. 20% VAT, 25% basic income tax, road tax through the roof and petrol duty to rocket. Oh, and liquor is going to be an easy target in this country for any government to tax…and do not expect a job if you are in the public sector…either that, or we as a nation starve…on the bright side, corporation tax will probably come down as a final stimulus to business (should have been the first thing to happen).

I don’t often agree with the view of these guys, but he has a point…especially that last paragraph.